The Tire Iron
by Seom
Summary: Ennis, I don't care no more. I'm coming down. As soon as I divorce Lureen, I'm coming down there to Riverton and taking you away. I can't stand this no more Ennis.


_Ennis, _

_I don't care no more. I'm coming down. As soon as I divorce Lureen, I'm coming down there to Riverton and taking you away. I can't stand this no more Ennis. I can't stand not being around you. So I don't care if your daddy rises from his grave and shoves that fucking tire iron right up my ass, it you won't keep me from you. And it would hurt less than us being apart. Damn it, Ennis, each minute I spend away from you feels like another tears in my gut. I don' care if you like it or not, I'll drag you away fighting and screaming, but I'm never letting you outta my sight again. _

_Jack _

Furious tears stung his eyes as he shoved the letter into the envelope. Turning it over he addressed it, Ennis's and his own return address and began searching Lureen's desk for a stamp. This fucking desk. Why was it so damn full? Drawer after drawer he pulled out, shuffled papers, angrily throwing out books and still he could not find a damn stamp.

"Son of a bitch," he muttered, wiping the back of his hand across his watering eyes.

"What you looking for, Jack?" Lureen said as she poked her head into the office.

"Goddamn fucking stamp," he said angrily, pulling a drawer so hard it slid right from the desk and fell to the floor, the papers flying like fallen doves to the floor. "Shit!"

"You been drinking again, Jack." It wasn't a question. He'd done nothing else since he'd gotten back from his last fishing trip.

"No I haven't been drinking, damn it. I need a fucking stamp." He refused to look up at her. His watering eyes hadn't stopped leaking yet.

"Well they're in the middle drawer where they always are." She said it so damn coolly, like even an idiot would have known where she hid her damn stamps. High and mighty bitch.

Finally he pulled out the stamp from the middle drawer, slammed it sloppily onto the envelope, a corner of it hanging off the edge. Who fucking cared?

Clutching the letter, he stormed from the house, slamming the door to the house as he left and slamming the door to the truck as he entered it. Fucking Lureen. With her withdrawn manner and cold tone. That woman could turn a clown sober with her plainness. Not that he'd ever liked clowns anyway. Bunch a overly-happy queers prancing around in make-up.

He drove down the road, going to the post office. The tears had finally dried now. He was so angry. He wasn't even quite sure at what. He'd been drinking again. Lureen of course had been right. That's all he had been doing for some time. The more he drank the more he thought of Ennis. The more he thought of him the more his longing for the man increased. And when he couldn't do anything to satisfy that longing, he got pissed, in the drunken sense and the angry sense. This wasn't the first letter he had written with such angry contents. This was just one of the many.

But he had never sent them. Always he'd written them, gone to post them, pulled to the side of the road, cried his fucking eyes out, tore up the letter and drove back home. Let be, let be.

But this time was different. This time he would mail it. He'd put it into the post and go straight to his attorney and pick up the papers for a divorce. He was sick of this shit. This time it was different.

It always was.

Finally he reached the post office and stopped the truck. He didn't get out though. He sat in his truck looking at the letter. He turned it over and over in his hands.

On cue, just as it always did, his drunken anger crashed down. What was he doing? He couldn't send this to Ennis. It'd only drive him further away.

The tears returned, just as always. Fucking Ennis! Why the fuck was he so difficult? It wasn't that hard! Jack was only asking to spend the rest of his life with him. Was it really that much to ask? Ever since he had divorced his wife Jack had clung to a false hope that Ennis was actually going to finally come away with him. But he had hoped in vain. The divorce hadn't changed anything.

But this time a divorce would change things. Jack would divorce his wife now and go after Ennis, not wait for Ennis to finally come to him. Damn pride, damn anything else that would keep him away.

And add to that, damn this letter. Damn the divorce. What was keeping him from just taking off right now? He didn't have anything with him, no money, no clothes, no food, but he really didn't give a fuck right now.

He tore the pointless letter, ripping it over and over until it was tiny shreds, and threw it out the window. Changing out of park, he started the truck and drove dangerously down the road. He didn't watch as he passed straight through stop signs and red lights. He only had one destination: Riverton, Wyoming.

He was so distracted as he finally exited town that he didn't see the branch lying in the middle of the road. It wasn't until the truck swerved precariously near the gutter that he knew he had a flat.

Cursing everything from his truck to squirrels, he slammed his truck to a stop. He rammed his fist into the wheel. Of fucking course. He'd finally gotten the determination to finally go after Ennis and that fucking branch _had_ to end up right in the middle of the damn road. He shoved the door open, and walked angrily to his back tire. Taking out the proper tools, he removed the offensive object off his truck, shoved it angrily into the gutter. He took out his spare, shoved it into place and tightened it. He kicked it angrily. Fucking thing was flat.

He grabbed his air pump from the back of his truck and connected it. Furiously he shoved the handle down, pumping air into the tire. Each push felt like a heart beat, pump... pump... pump...

Fucking Ennis. This was all his fucking fault, the son of a bitch.

Pump... pump... pump...

What was his problem? Why couldn't he just quit him? He should. Why couldn't he just forget about him?

Pump... pump... pump... pump...

First he had responsibilities for his family, now he had work, work and more work. Why did he continue to hide behind such trivial things in his life?

Pump... pump... pump...

That fucking son of a whoreson bitch. He fucking hated him. He fucking wished he could just leave him be. He fucking _needed _him...

Pump... pump... pu-

The tire blew so abruptly he'd been in the middle of pushing the handle down. A flash of light, excruciating pain, and then... all was black...

* * *

_Ennis looked down on him, his young face carefree and his shoulders lacking their worrisome slump. He smile at Jack, his hand caressed his face. The pain began to lessen._

_"Jack." _

_Jack smiled back at him. _

_"Where are we?" _

_"We're on Brokeback, bud. Don't worry. You're alright. That damn mare." _

_Jack smiled as he thought of that damn frisky mare. Must a taken a fall. He wondered where his harmonica was. _

_"Time to hit the hay, cowboy." _

_Jack smiled at that familiar line, suddenly drowsy. _

_"I'll be here in the morning." _

_"G'night Ennis." _

_"G'night, friend." _

_Jack smiled as he slowly slipped into slumber. _

_

* * *

_

Tears! Well, there you have it. My take on what happened to Jack. My first angst, my first BBM fan fic, this is a lot of firsts. I love to write angst even if I hate to read it. To depressing. lol.

Note on Kitten: I haven't given up on it! Don't worry, I'll continue, I've already started the next chapter, just at a bit of a block. I'll try to get it out soon.

Review!

Seom


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